My dear future baby,
Allah is All-Loving. Mommy knows and understands that getting you is not supposed to be easy. Mommy reads about pregnancy, watched videos of mothers giving birth – the things mommy will never experience – and mommy salutes biological mothers even more. Later, when we’ve found each other, you must not totally forget your real mother, okay? She’d be in between life and death just to bring you into this world. We should always pray for her well-being. We’ll also pray for the good health of mommy’s mommy and daddy’s mommy. They are the greatest! You’ll love your grandmommies. They are patient, kind, and they are the strongest women mommy has ever known. They would probably shower you with more love than they did on me! Baby, Allah is Just and Fair. All women will go through certain hardship in getting their babies, and mommy is not excepted. All women will feel pain and face difficulties at this very phase of life – only through different ways. Mommy still has a lot to learn. I’m grateful for this time and air Allah is lending me; I’m thankful for this right to hope and dream. Somehow, waiting for you contents mommy and brings out the good in mommy. I begin to value and appreciate you better. I can’t imagine what could be sweeter than this wait and what could be more beautiful than this uncertainty. Perhaps one day when our eyes meet? :)

Yours, truly.

Surprise Dinner For Birthday Girl & Bride-To-Be; Kerr Abdullah
& Introducing Baby Muhammad Adam Arsyad To His Aunts!
Photos taken by the bachelorette herself. ♥

1) Terima kasih semua yang menonton persembahan saya di Universiti Malaya itu hari. Walaupun sekejap, saya sangat hargai jemputannya. Terima kasih, Universiti Malaya, e-Sastera, DBP, Numera, dan lain-lain. Terima kasih, Pak Agi dan Prof. Dr. Irwan.

2) Syabas semua yang turut menyokong dan mengikuti persembahan rakan-rakan karyawan minggu lepas. Mosyuki Borhan di Puisi Riong, Malaysia Ukulele Group dan Liyana Fizi di PJ Live Arts, serta geng Paradoks dalam teater Rompakan Bersepadu. Sebagai peminat, saya tumpang kagum dan suka. Mereka apatah lagi.

3) Terima kasih semua pembaca yang membeli Langit Vanilla di internet, di kedai-kedai terpilih, di acara-acara seni, dan paling baru di Pesta Buku Antarabangsa tempohari. Penerbit kata jualan Langit Vanilla dah cecah 900 unit dalam masa kurang 5 bulan. Subhanallah. Maha Baiknya Dia pada saya. Alhamdulillah. Demi Allah saya tak terfikir ia mampu terjual begini. Bukan pun saya punya; semuanya pinjaman sementara Allah pada saya. Terima kasih. Motivasi berguna buat saya. Kalau gini tak masuk kedai buku besar pun tak apa. Sanggup saya menjinjit ke sana ke mari. (Tapi penerbit kata, esok lusa kena masuk kedai buku besar juga. Sabar ya. Doakan penerbit berjaya cari duit!)

4) Saya mohon maaf Langit Vanilla habis di Pesta Buku Antarabangsa pada hari Jumaat/Sabtu yang lepas. Kami tahu hujung minggu ramai orang, sayangnya waktu itulah mesin cetak rosak! Penerbit dah tambah stok Langit Vanilla dua kali sebenarnya sepanjang 10 hari pesta buku berlangsung (terima kasih, Lejen Press dan Fixi!), tapi waktu nak tambah kali ketiga pula dugaan timbul. Ada hikmah. A lesson for us all.

5) Minggu ini InsyaAllah cetakan ketiga Langit Vanilla akan siap. Bolehlah beli di facebook.com/langitvanilla, Silverfish Books (Bangsar), Uya Distro (Subang Jaya), dan Urban Village (Bangsar). Kali ini penerbit cetak seribu terus, takut habis lagi, takut orang emel dalam kesedihan lagi dan kami tak tahu nak ‘goreng’ macam mana lagi. Tapi kalau tak habis jual kita rebus buat sup dan makan beramai-ramai! :D

Buku yang saya nak miliki tapi tak dapat sebab bawa duit cukup-cukup ke pesta buku untuk beli Sitora Harimau Jadian dan mi goreng yang rupa-rupanya tak sedap. Mujurlah Sufian Abas sudi belanja lamb chop di Bangsar. (Foto oleh Sufian Abas.)

Pelancaran Rumah Buku; Rabak-Lit
Photos by Projek Rabak, Megat Amir, & Shidi Mohamad
Thank you, friends, publishers, organizers, audience, listeners, readers!

P.S. All praise be to Allah, Langit Vanilla has made through its third print and is now on for sale at the KL International Book Fair. Do search for Lejen Press’s booth if you would like to adopt her and give her a comfy home under your pillow. :) The booth is at H26-27, Ground Floor, Dewan Tun Hussein Onn, KL International Book Fair, PWTC.

With the passing of Tok Long, the third generation of Raden Worno Porwiro is now all gone. Leaving us; the fourth, fifth, and sixth generation. Al-Fatihah.

Ummi bought ten of my book Langit Vanilla though she couldn’t digest its content. Too heavy, she said. But she bought them anyway. She wanted to give them to her friends. My mother likes to show off… in a motherly way, that is. She showed off my book to Ayah and Tok Mak who were dining at the table. Look, this is the book Wani wrote. Her face beamed with pride as she scrutinized my book with her skeptical eyes. At the same time she complained about the royalty I received, the cake I baked, and the plumbing problem at my apartment.

It felt so awkward talking to my parents about my book. Seeing them holding my book. Answering their questions. Hearing them reading it out loud. So uncomfortable.

Tok Mak was moving slow, eating congee with crispy anchovies. She actually finished them, much to my surprise. She drank a little and walked back to her room. It’s nice to have the house smells of her, of hot massage oil and sea cucumber, now that she lives with my parents. Her quiet old soul mysteriously penetrates life into this ample new bungalow.

Ayah joined Tok Mak in her room for their daily routine. He began to read her a holy book; wondrous stories of Almighty Allah and His impeccable prophets- just like the way Ayah used to read me storybooks when I was a kid. Tok Mak marveled at his reading like a curious child, discreetly imitating every syllable that was uttered by her son.

I have always believed that one day, when Ayah goes, he will go to heaven. I hope it won’t be anytime soon, though. I am the fifth generation and I am not ready for the real world.

Berjalan bawah awan
Membetulkan hijabnya
Kelibatnya menawan
Tenteram si jejaka
Lalu menepislah di hati
Mustahil terpaut begini
Lagi pula aku baru terluka
Namun ini hakikatnya
Rasa tidak pilih mangsa
Bila ia datang kita akur sahaja

Si kurung putih mencuri malam-malamnya
Dan dia berjaga, bersengkang mata, memikirkannya ke pagi buta
Si kurung putih mencuri malam-malamnya
Dan dia berjaga, bersengkang mata, mengimpikannya setiap masa

Berjalan bawah awan
Membetulkan hijabnya
Kelibatnya menawan
Tenteram si jejaka
Lalu berbisiklah di hati
Apa ini pengisi nanti
Rumah jiwa yang kosong dan sunyi sepi
Mungkin ini hakikatnya
Rasa tidak pilih mangsa
Bila ia datang kita akur sahaja

Si kurung putih mencuri malam-malamnya
Dan dia berjaga, bersengkang mata, memikirkannya ke pagi buta
Si kurung putih mencuri malam-malamnya
Dan dia berjaga, bersengkang mata, mengimpikannya setiap masa
_________________________________________________

Inspirasi dari buku puisi kedua Adi Wafi; Si Kurung Putih.
(Buku puisi pertama beliau adalah Two Months & A Day.)